“No one thing helps a lot … a lot of things help a little.” Anonymous
When someone dies by suicide, survivors are left deeply wounded and derailed from their normal lives. Nothing they can do will bring their loved ones back. They cannot restore life to what it was before.
There is no “cure” for what has happened. Survivor’s wounds cannot be “cured,” but with time they can be healed. Healing is different from curing. While curing implies that we can restore something to its original condition, healing implies making things whole. This does not happen quickly or easily. It involves a commitment and a lot of work on the part of the survivor.
Much as someone who has lost function in a part of their body can reconcile and develop an inner peace with their loss, and go on to have a happy, productive and meaningful life, so can survivors go on to eventually reconcile their loss.
We speak of the journey which survivors travel as a “healing journey.” It is neither short nor easy. It is a journey which begins in a nightmare and travels through territories we hope never to revisit. It leaves us forever altered … wiser, more compassionate, and stronger than we knew we could be.
Below are suggestions and information about activities and methods that help in the healing process.
Locate a Support Group: Some survivors seek out the support of a group immediately, while others may wait years to go. You may find that it takes a few meetings to feel comfortable or that a particular group is not right for you. Support groups provide a good opportunity to meet others in similar circumstances, sometimes resulting in life-long friendships.
Counseling: Do not hesitate to seek help from a mental health professional who specializes in working with survivors of suicide. Individual counseling can help you process your grief, address the traumatic nature of your feelings, and better understand the crisis you are facing. A good counselor who fully understands the nature of loss to suicide can be invaluable in your grief journey.
Reading About It: There are many good books to support suicide survivors. This has not always been the case. Until about two decades ago, there was not much written to support survivors.
Writing About It: Many survivors have found it is therapeutic to keep a journal. Writing is an excellent way to get in touch with what we are feeling. it gives us a chance to express whatever we wish with no attention on how it might sound to another.
