Alliance of Hope for Suicide Survivors

The Fog of Loss by Cyndi Slider

So many times I've read about the "fog" that seems to envelope the brain for a period of time after a loss, especially a loss such as we have all experienced. Many times I've tried to remember things that happened in the first year or two after my son's death and find that I can only remember bits and pieces, or have no memory at all of certain events. At my age, I thought much of it was due to just that - my age, but last night I realized that I was indeed in a "fog" that lasted for well over a year.

Beyond Surviving: Cyndi Slider's Story

My son Josh took his life 8 years ago. The first days are still a blur. I don't remember much about them. I was out of town at the time, had just started a relationship with David, the man I am married to now.  We had been out for the evening. When we got in, we found frantic messages from my daughter.  I called her and then, I really don't remember much except for handing the phone to David and curling up into a sobbing mess on the floor. He tells me that the sounds I made sounded nonhuman, like my soul was screaming.

Out of the woods ...

Cyndi Slider serves as a senior moderator on our forum.  She lost her son Josh, eight years ago.

I'd like to share some of the things I’ve learned as I journeyed through the grief and pain of losing my youngest son. It has been 8 years since he left this world.  As I reflect on those years, I realize I have become an entirely different person than I was back then.

Looking for life after life ...

Cyndi Slider: In my heart and my soul, I just know …

"When my son died by suicide eight years ago, I began a journey.  Over the years, this journey evolved into a learning experience that opened my eyes to the limitless possibilities of an “after life.”  Call it “heaven” or a “different dimension” … whatever you like.  I have come to believe that no one really dies.  I have come to believe that their spirit … or soul … or energy just leaves the physical body and moves on to another dimension.  I see death, not as a termination, but as a transition.  Making this discovery has changed my life eternally.

Beyond Surviving: Jack Cain's Story

"As horrible as the experience of suicide was, it taught us to appreciate our life in the moment and not to live our lives in the past and certainly not to fear the future." 

Hello. My name is Jack Cain. Ten years ago, I lost my son to suicide. In the following year, I lost my wife to ovarian cancer and my 34 year-old daughter to congestive heart failure.